Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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