I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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