he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
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He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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