my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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