I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i came on her dog
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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