can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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