OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
