Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
