I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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