ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
