he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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