i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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