I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
