I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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