really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
