my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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