I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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