You're so nebulous sometimes
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
