I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
