This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure