my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole