Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
