i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
