No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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