At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
