Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
