is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize