I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
