She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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