The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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