We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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