But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
