okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
