cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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