In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I met the friendliest cop last night
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
