No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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