I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm like, not good at living.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize