I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
