About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.