In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy