U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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