I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
