Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
