Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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