you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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