hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize