is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
