If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
