Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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