whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
