Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
