I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
