every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
