why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Two words: blizzard sex
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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