Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
