your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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