do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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