): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
