Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
