TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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