yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
