I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
