Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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