so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
