All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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