If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
