yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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