O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
ttyl tear gas
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
