Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
