Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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