I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
