had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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